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Get a Gift, Give a Gift – Why I Became A Gestational Surrogate?

Gestational Surrogate By Lyneda Lincoln

 

 

I can’t believe I can finally start a blog post like this. But years ago, I was sitting in health class. We were discussing reproduction and the complications thereof. I was bored and hardly paying attention. Until my teacher turned on a documentary clip about a surrogate giving birth for an infertile couple. I sat up in my chair and watched, intrigued that someone would do something so selfless for someone else!

 

The whole thing was miraculous. I mean, did people really do this?? We went on to watch a few other clips and with each, my intrigue grew.

I went home and googled ‘surrogacy’ and found all these articles discussing the difference between traditional surrogacy. The requirements of becoming a surrogate, the pros, and cons of surrogacy, etc. But one thing became clear very quickly. There were no women who looked like me doing it.

Particularly, I was used to being the odd man out. I went to private school my entire life, from preschool all the way up through undergrad. I found myself being the only black girl amongst the crowd on many occasions.

Although I was fortunate enough not to experience any direct situations. Where I was singled out or discriminated against due to my ethnicity. I did experience this crushing realization somewhere along the way that there were things, opportunities. That would not be as easily available to me as my Caucasian counterparts because of my ‘blackness’.

 

When looking through google images. I didn’t see any African American women or even women of color doing this. Which immediately told me that I might as well forget about it ever being an option for me.

Additionally, I couldn’t do it even if I wanted to. Because you had to have given birth to and be parenting at least one child. I was light-years away from getting married or having children of my own. However, from then on, the thought always lingered in the back of my mind… what if?

 

THIS MOM IS 36 WEEKS PREGNANT AND HAS 2-MONTH-OLD TWINS

 

At the end of my senior year of high school, I started dating my best friend. Four years later and three months after I graduated from college, we got married. The long and short of it is that once we were ready to have children. We quickly (or not so quickly) found out that something was wrong. After trying for a few years, we were finally evaluated. It was determined that we had severe Male Factor Infertility (MFI). We were told we had only a 1% chance of ever conceiving naturally on our own. We were crushed, but willing to do whatever it took to have the family we know God promised us.

Then we decided to begin hormonal treatment under the care of a urologist. Also, if that didn’t work, to begin the process of attempting Intra-Uterine Insemination (IUI). Under a Reproductive Endocrinologist at a Fertility Center here in California. However, before my husband could begin treatment, we found out we were pregnant. My OBGYN couldn’t believe it, and yet. Almost three years later, we have the most beautiful little wildflower you ever did see. She was the blessing that we’d hoped and prayed for, cried and longed for.

After having a perfect pregnancy and beautiful home water birth, the yearning to give that to another mother. That might have felt the same agony I did during our battle with infertility became undeniable.

 

I mean, what if I stopped putting myself in a box? What if I stopped perpetuating the lie that I was less than because of some invisible barrier I believed existed? And what if there was a mother out there, just hoping and praying for a woman like me who might not ignore her calling and who could give her the child she couldn’t carry herself? What if that child could only ever feel its mother’s arms… because of me?

http://https://www.instagram.com/p/BvZkUKKFSY7/?utm_source=ig_share_sheet&igshid=1i2b7lpvwff0d

http://https://www.instagram.com/p/BvZkUKKFSY7/?utm_source=ig_share_sheet&igshid=1i2b7lpvwff0d

http://https://www.instagram.com/p/BvZkUKKFSY7/?utm_source=ig_share_sheet&igshid=1i2b7lpvwff0d

As someone who is very spiritual, I felt that becoming a surrogate was a calling on my life. My dad used to tell me when I was younger, “Sometimes the way you choose to live your life is the only sermon someone will ever see or hear”.

 

I decided to let my light shine. By giving someone else a gift that was miraculously given to me. It didn’t happen in the exact same way, but it happened in an equally beautiful way.

I gave birth to my surrogate twins on August 16, 2018 – they are healthy and happy, and their parents finally feel that their family is complete. The amount of joy that brings me is indescribable. My pregnancy carrying twins was difficult in many ways, but the beauty of being apart of a miracle far outweighs those hardships.

Becoming a surrogate didn’t just allow me to fulfill my calling; it helped me bring peace to a mother and a father who might have otherwise spent more of their lives wandering in despair. Becoming a surrogate is one of the best things I have ever done.

 

https://www.instagram.com/p/BvZkUKKFSY7/?utm_source=ig_share_sheet&igshid=1i2b7lpvwff0d

 

 

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About the Author:

Lyneda is a 29-year-old aspiring entrepreneur and mama of one. Several years ago, in the midst of her pain, she took to Instagram as a way to express her frustrations of eagerly awaiting a child and to find other women who might be experiencing the same. Since then, she has continued the unfiltered documentation of her life on her.

Instagram profile @NeddiezWhirled in the hope to spread awareness about infertility, motherhood, and surrogacy. In between Instagram blog posts, Lyneda enjoys reading, working her new endeavor as a home-based travel agent, and spending time with her family.

 

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