3 in 1 year
Oh, Dear 3 in 1 year! How I Balance Mommy Duties With 3 Kids, 8 Months Apart?
One real mom gives practical tips on how she juggled mommy duties with three kids under one!
Follow me down the rabbit hole although I am nowhere as cute and spunky as Alice. My name is Sandra and five years ago, I gave birth to three children eight months apart now that bit of information usually brings on an awkward glance or two so I believe a backstory is in order.
How I Met My Husband
My husband and I met in 2010 at our first duty station in the military…we locked eyes from across the room then he came up to me and said. “You’re the expletive with the eyelashes! Do you know you caused everyone in the dinning facility to be smoked?” Now I was quite un-phased by this uncouth little encounter as the dinning facility false lash incident had seemingly ruffled quite a few feathers he wasn’t the first person to greet me with such a scathing reproach.
Now if you know a bit about the military. I am sure you can already see why false lashes in basic training would be a problem. There is more to what went down that fateful day but that’s a story for another time. Thankfully we were able to move past lash gate and soon found ourselves in love.
Our Growing Family
Fast forward to 2012 we had been married for two years and were expecting our first child. Our beautiful raven haired bundle was born on January 30th 2012. So how did I end up with three kids who are not triplets in one year? Well with me being the randy little lass that I am, I could hardly wait for my six week medically imposed celibacy to be up.
So one baby free night and several glasses of wine later we unknowingly convinced our identical twin boys. The twins apparently as impatient as their dear mother made a grand early entrance into the world on October 16th 2012. So I went from one child to three In what seemed like the blink of an eye. The first few months (read still is!) were probably the hardest after taking some time to ingest all the changes and traumas.
The twins arrived at 29wks so that meant NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) time plus a host of other challenges. I realized that the best way to take on the challenges of this new life was to go with the flow. It sounds infinitely easier than it actually was (is). Since I had an emergency c section my milk took some time to come in so the twins were given donor milk. God bless all those who donate because it helped ease the guilt I felt over not being able to provide for them those first few weeks.
Balancing Mommy Duties
About three months after they were born they came home. I began my terminal leave from the military, I began my journey as a stay at home mom and our family life began in earnest. As happy as we were to have the boys home it was a big adjustment. Used to the bright lights of the NICU the twins did not have the best sleep pattern to keep things bearable we went by the kids body clocks our mornings started whenever they woke up and we allowed them to sleep whenever they needed until they were old enough to really give sleep training a go.
Back then upon waking the twins went in their swings while I made breakfast. Then it was time to grab my double breastfeeding pillow latch the boys use my feet to pull my daughters highchair close to me she would get fed as nursed her brothers. When we were out if I wasn’t able to nurse we used bottle holders. I think I read somewhere that the bottle holder things are Ill advised but back then they were life savers. These methods worked pretty awesome even better was when baby girl could finally feed herself! Although the boys enjoyed sticking to the double feeding method even when they began solids. So baby girl would get her food and I would double spoon the twins. It cut back on time everyone was happy and fed.
SEE ALSO : AMAZING STORIES OF LABOR AND BIRTH FROM REAL MOMS
Speaking of time saving that became something of a hobby. It was easier to handle the babies when everything was prepped ahead from bottles to bathes. I gave myself time lines but also let myself just say to hell with it if I didn’t make those timelines. Mothers of multiples and of children close together tend to find all these neat little ways to make it through the day.
On nights where bath time seemed like a personal punishment. We used baby magic no rinse foam to give the bubs a quick wipe down. The prep and assembly line method kept things running somewhat smoothly pretty much in all aspects of life with the exception of poop volcanos or projectile vomit.
Now I can make it seem as if I had it all in the bag or it was all sunshine and unicorn poop. I can pretend that I did it with six inch stilettos on or a sequined ball gown. I could pretend the poop murals, food explosions, omg what did you eat and near are visits never happened but they did. It would make me look so bad-ass if I never cried looking at a category five mess simply because I dared to use the bathroom for more than five minutes but the truth is it was hard a lot more than it was easy.
There were times my sleep deprived sanity was a lone little row boat in an ocean of coughs, feverish, vomiting children. Just hearing a sniffle queued up a 80’s horror soundtrack in the back of my mind. There were times I did whatever worked at the time whatever I could do to get through the day. Whatever would help tire them out for an easy quick bedtime.
To cut on clothing cost, we use a inside/ outside clothes rule. Outside clothes are taken off promptly upon returning home and washed outside in In color safe detergent This kept things in top hand me up condition. We color coded as many things as we could so the children had a sense of ownership/responsibility. It also helped to get them involved in learning to help pick up after themselves.
Even though the kids have flatware, Paper plates were and are still dear friends of ours. Kids seem to drink like fish so we rinse cups after use and set them in the middle of the table (this is where the color code comes in handy too) one cup all day. Less dishes equals more time to use in some other productive way. Finding what works for you and your children no matter how others may think was the best thing having children so close in age taught me.
Loving Your Children Is What Matters
I am sure I am not alone when I say this that parenting thing can come with some unexpected guilt. Self generated guilt or some from the peanut gallery know as society. A source of guilt in my home was feeling that since they were so close that somehow in some way they would feel neglected in some way. As individual attention while available and readily given could never really come in large quantities. But you know what I know all of my children well Trey has a just happy to be alive cuddly personality, Mimi with her larger than life boss lady persona then there’s Ty my stick to the facts protective sweetheart. My little motley crew has taught me so much about myself. They grow me as much as I grow them they know they are loved.
As a mom I learned that you will be judged as a parent no matter if you have one or 100 children. Going out on a limb I am willing to bet many parents of multiples or closely grouped children have heard the likes of ” You guys don’t have a TV huh” or the gawking like the grocery store extraterrestrials who feel privy to invade your personal space to question or worse touch without asking! Friend, strangers and relatives alike it seems there is always that one person. I also learned that there is this strange mommy competition that sometimes takes place and your worth as mother/parent will weighed against another.
I learned that all of the above mentioned should just remain observations. Loving your children is what matters, trying each day to better for them and yourself, what other moms do or don’t and how often they do or don’t do it, if you yell more or less, if you’re not as neat or together. Having and raising three kids under two taught me to to just be mom enough for me and my family. I have since gone on to have a fourth child the kids are alive, well and as precocious as ever.
The older three start kindergarten this year and honestly it’s a bit of a relief. The excitement of change and growth each school year brings. That bit of a break doesn’t hurt either may anyone reading have an amazing year full of smiles and good memories and most of all love and family growth no matter if you have one kid or a dozen.
Follow Sandra on Instagram @ohdear3in1yr
SEE ALSO: Pregnancy Sleep Secret – All that You Need To Know
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