7 – Every child needs to feel valued.

People always seem astonished I can cook for twelve daily. I have taught myself over the years to cook them home-cooked meals because their health is really important to me. It can be challenging at times to cook for them all but it’s something I like to do as I know eating well is so important. Nothing beats us all sitting around our farmhouse table for a meal and talking about our day.

 

I had a real wake-up call after the birth of my sixth child Vincent. I had a straightforward pregnancy and birth but, he was born very poorly and had to be transferred to a high dependency intensive care unit in a hospital hour away from home. It was an absolutely awful time and to be told my baby is probably going to die the worst thing I have gone through. Vincent did make it and It made me realize how fortunate I am. I now really appreciate the health of all my children and have great sadness and empathy for parents who are not as lucky as me.

I have had such different births with all my children. Home births with independent midwives, hospital natural births, epidurals, emergency c -sections. Each one had it plus and minus points and seven of the births didn’t go to plan.  Labour and Birth are like English weather the forecast doesn’t always match the day.

There have been many occasions when things have been so dire I have just had to laugh. I remember one occasion when two of my little ones decided to pour baking flour on the floor mix it with tomato puree and water and proceed to paint my dining room with it. Yes, it was a nightmare and a major mess but kids will be kids and it was my own fault as I was distracted by a phone call and cleaning school shoes. Sometimes all you can do is laugh and carry on.

It is a true fact there is no super mum or dad. Everyone is just blagging their way along trying their best. You learn to be calmer and confident on certain aspects of parenting with the more experience you gain but, each of my children is just so different so each one of them has sent me back to the drawing board on certain things. You can only do your best.

Sleep is something my husband and I fantasize about and bicker over. In honesty, I have resented him many times over the years for his selective hearing at night. He says he doesn’t hear the children when they wake at night. I know he does. Also, I have no shame in admitting that I have on occasion deliberately disturbed him at night leaving the ensuite light on, knocking the bed to jolt him and so on. I have also been known to send him ranting voice notes to his phone during a particularly bad night to highlight just how much I had been awake that night along with just exactly what I thought of him. – that was some colorful breakfast entertainment for him (cringe). Yes I know I sound a bit mental but weeks of three hours broken sleep a day does send you a bit loopy loo.